The housemates have the threads to wear, they've got the name, they've got the music and they've got the lyrics. Can they impress Simon Cowell or will he recommend they don't give up their day job?
It's Day 49. It's Sim Brother 4.
10.33am - The housemates were practicing until the early hours. As a result, they slept in quite late. Steve was the first one up and makes himself a bowl of salad. He sits outside to eat his dinner, contemplating the future performance, perhaps?
11.20am - John is up and arguing with the trash compactor.
Sim Brother (A) - John, tinkering with the trash compactor can be dangerous.
John - I've dropped my wedding ring in there. Alice will kill me if I don't get it back. Ahhh, it's ok, I've found it! (ewww ... anchovies)
3.31pm - The housemates are all in the practice room. After going through their number a few times, they spend the rest of the afternoon jamming.
Alyssa - So now we're comfortable, here's Mull of Kintyre to a pop jazz beat.
Steve - If you strum it, I'll play it.
Will Wright - Good evening, Sim Brother houses on both the TSZ and Simdemol networks. In this first ever linkup between two running series of Sim Brother, we've got a special for you. For you guys at Simdemol, the three remaining housemates at TSZ have been told to form a band, write a song and perform it for you. However, every band needs a critic and who better than Simon Cowell?
Simon (laughing) - I thought I could get away from work while I was in here. Can't Pete Waterman do it instead?
WW - Simon, both Sim Brothers think you're the best guy to do it so you're going to do it.
Simon - Ok, I'll listen to it. If their future depends on me, I suppose I can play God for a few minutes.
WW - Now that's agreed, let's hear it for "No More Evictions" from "Plumb Bob Black Pants".
(to the tune of "Waltzing Matilda" with a heavy rock tempo and beat)
There once were eight housemates who were put in the Sim Brother house
For fifty days of torture to be driven round the bend.
With challenges and tasks thrown in to keep the housemates occupied
And weekly nominations mixed into the toxic blend.
Chorus
No more evictions, no more evictions, no more evictees to go see Will Wright.
So we'll do all the tasks and we'll wait until the final night.
There'll be no more evictions from this Sim Brother house.
(SB - That was their first verse and chorus. I don't expect you'll want the rest)
WW - That was really great. But Simon, what do you think about it? Remember, their success in this task and their future in the music industry depends upon what you have to say.
Simon - You look awful, you've got no rhythm, the lyrics and your performance are dreadful. And Plumb Bob Black Pants? What sort of a name is that?WW - That's all a bit harsh, Simon.
Simon (smiling) - William, I know that you're somehow involved in arranging this linkup. You get what you paid for. Me.
WW - Don't call me William. It's Will. We need to know what you think of their future, though.
Simon - Do I think you'll make it? Yes. I'd better sign you up for a three album deal when we all get out before Pete, Louis or Sharon do.
The housemates at Sim Brother 4 are all ecstatic.
WW - And with that, we are going to bring to an end this first linkup between two running series of Sim Brother. Thankyou, TSZ and Simdemol, for organising this linkup. Well done, Plumb Bob Black Pants, you get your final night party after all and thankyou to Simon Cowell and the other housemates at the Simdemol house. I hope to be seeing all of you guys very soon. Enjoy your remaining time together, thankyou and goodnight.
Alyssa - Oh my God.
WW - And what did I just say?
Alyssa - Sorry.
WW - Since Sunday, people have been voting for who is going to win this series of Sim Brother. The polls have been paused, counted, checked and rechecked. Tonight, we are removing the one with the fewest votes.
(long pause)
The Sim Brother 4 Finalist in Third Place with 21% of the public vote is ...
(even longer pause)
With the housemates now told of which of their number is leaving, that is where we are going to leave them. The polls are open again and to let you know, the lead has changed several times between the remaining two housemates. Every vote counts. If you want to see your favourite win, make sure you cast your final vote in time.
Stay tuned to find out what Steve had to tell me about relationships, fish and sandwiches and the rest of his time in the Sim Brother house.
